Nollywood actor Deyemi Okanlawon has opened up about his approach to mental health, masculinity, and emotional support, revealing that his wife is not the first person he confides in during tough times. In a candid interview, the actor emphasized the importance of building a reliable support system, including therapists and mentors, whom he turns to before involving his spouse. He stressed that while men are often expected to be strong protectors, they must also prioritize their emotional wellbeing and seek healing when needed.
Okanlawon explained that men are naturally inclined to endure hardship and shield others from pain. “First of all I am a man and we’re built to chest things. If you punch a man he has the ability to absorb that punch,” he said. He added that his instinct is to protect those around him, even in dangerous situations. “My job is to protect the people around me. If gbege happens here now, the chances are I’m going to step in front. It’s what needs to happen, there’s no excuse.”
Despite this protective nature, the actor made it clear that emotional resilience does not mean suppressing feelings or avoiding help. “Now you also have to be aware enough to find healing,” he stated. He shared that he has intentionally cultivated a network of trusted individuals, including mental health professionals and spiritual mentors, who are always accessible during difficult moments. “On my speed dial I have people that if I’m going through the worst times that I can talk to. I have a therapist on speed dial, I have my mentors on speed dial.”
While his wife remains a key source of comfort, Okanlawon acknowledged that she also has her own responsibilities, including raising their children. He explained that he avoids burdening her with every emotional struggle, recognizing her need for space and balance. “Let me just tell you the truth, when the thing is just too hard, there’s my wife. She’s not the first… because she’s dealing with her own business and raising the family. But when it’s hitting me too hard, I’ll wake her in the middle of the night and tell her to help me.”
Okanlawon’s message encourages men across Nigeria to break the stigma around seeking help and to build healthy emotional support systems. His insights highlight the importance of self-awareness and accountability in maintaining mental health. As more public figures speak openly about emotional wellbeing, his words may inspire others to prioritize their mental health without compromising their roles as protectors and providers. This conversation is a step toward redefining masculinity in Nigerian society, where emotional strength is not measured by silence, but by the courage to seek support.
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